The Face without a name (a middle name)

So, in high school everyone started using their middle names. I don't know if this was a widespread fad or if it just happened in my neck of the schools. People would either use their first and middle names together like my friend Teri Lyn, or some just gave up their namesake altogether like when Nicole became Trellis. I still can't believe that Trellis was actually part of her name at all, but whatever.
I was getting pretty agitated by all this nonsense and yet I yearned for a middle name of my own. I mean how many people do you know without a middle name?
Upon asking my parents why they neglected to give me one, they would always (I remember asking more than once because I wanted a real answer not the cutsie one that they would make up in a moment's notice for entertainment purposes) shake their heads and chuckle and tell me things like "well, you were so tiny...we didn't think you could handle such a big name" or "well, your name was already so long that we just didn't think you could handle it". "I'll tell you what you can't handle!" I would scream and shake my fists violently at them every time! They always just shook their heads and laughed at their tiny tyrant.
Well, I was going to show them; my parents and the whole blasted population of Shelly Lee's and Marie Ann's and Stephanie Michelle's!
Graduation came around and my mom had given me a check to buy my graduation invitations. They handed me the form to fill out. So I'm filling it out and then it asks for my middle name. Ah, the time had come for my genius plan to be put into action...I ever so carefully wrote each letter into the boxes...Z....H...A..T...E...A...L. What a master piece I thought crazily as I flung the check at the bewildered woman sitting behind the table with large piles of kids' orders who robotically handed me the carbon copy in return. I ran like a lunatic through the halls, kissing strangers full on the mouth and ranting on about my new name, showing them the carbon copy and making them read it out loud. Every person I ran up to panicked upon seeing the name and shook their heads as I demanded them to say it. "IT'S PRONOUNCED ZHA LIKE ZHA ZHA GABOR ZHA-TEAL...MY FAVORITE COLOR YOU IDIOT!!!"
I'll never forget the day I received those beautiful graduation cards. I proudly took them home and showed them to my mom who looked at me with a look of confusion then asked me in Spanish "y quien es Zhateal?" I abruptly swiped them from her hands and quickly stormed out of the kitchen with my mom on my heels asking more stupid questions. I closed and locked the door behind me, streamlined it to my stereo and put a tape of Depeche Mode in then turned the volume up to eleven. I immediately set to work, placing the small cards with my beautiful new name into the little slits that were meant for holding the cards in place. I then addressed them all which took 3 hours as most of them were going to my family in South America (they would probably wonder why they had never heard my middle name until now, but whatever).
Graduation was nearing and my best friend Stephanie Michelle and I were making all the preparations: what to wear, where to go for dinner, what party were we going to crash? The details had to be well thought out for a perfect night. We were with her loser boyfriend, Branden, driving in my blue Escort, when he saw one of my invitations sitting on my dashboard. He reached over and grabbed it then tore it open. He looked at me and asked "your middle name is Zee-hay-tul?"